“Be selective with your battles. Sometimes peace is better than being right”
This quote I came across the other day hit me like a truck. So simple but so true.
Lately, I’ve been going through a pretty intense conflict involving my boyfriend and his family and it’s been giving me a heck of a load of stress. My mind has constantly been buzzing with what they think about me, and how wrong their world view is. I’ve seen them as judgemental, snobby, narcissistic and deluded. In all honesty, it’s been eating me up inside to the point where I feel sick thinking about them.
As you can probably guess, we are very, very different people. But as frustrating as it is, the thing is you gotta realise that you CANNOT CHANGE PEOPLE. Ever.
All you can change is yourself and the way you deal with shitty people in your life (and there will always be shitty people). You’re never gonna be able to convince someone that the way they see the world is unhealthy. And of course everyone’s perception of the world is subjective, so that’s the sort of stuff that can’t be objectively right or wrong no matter how wrong it can seem.
Engrained personality traits and values can only be changed over a lifetime of personal experience and epiphanies, and let’s face it – for some people that’s never gotta happen, as frustrating as that is. Apart of maturing is recognising other people’s right to stay the way they are, even if it’s something you might disagree with entirely.
All you can do, whatever stressful situation you’re in, is change the way that it affects YOU personally. You’ll be much lighter, and much happier if you become the bigger person. Keep on doing you, retain your dignity and don’t let yourself stoop to their level. It won’t ever satisfy you, it’ll only make you bitter and frustrated. I know that’s how it’s made me, and it makes me feel less of a person.
My boyfriend’s aunty has always given the best advice. She had a wild and exciting youth where she was constantly in conflict with her family’s conservative views that often clashed with her liberal views. She ended up in rehab a bunch of times throughout her turbulent youth, and has now re-emerged as this lovely, spiritual and diplomatic lady who I constantly admire and has the respect of all around her, even her vastly dissimilar family. As she would always say…
“Live and let live”
In the end, all you can change is yourself. Allow others live their lives according to their own moral codes. And once you accept that you can truly be free.
❥ Keep it real ❥